less than a week

really?
less than a week until surgery. i hope so.
for those who may not know (which is probably most of you since i've been non-blogging for the past few months) Chrissy started out her life as a rock star. those are the words of her cardiologist, and i was oh so happy to repeat them any chance i got. she was gaining weight and being a pretty healthy baby, right up until she got a little cold- which turned into a nasty cold- which then turned into a couple nights in the hospital. before you start thinking anything too dramatic, they didn't really DO anything to her in the hospital. no medicine, no treatment (ok they did suction her nose out a total of 3 times but that's it), no supplemental oxygen, nothing. her stay pretty much consisted of them monitoring her breathing and  letting all the nurses talk about how cute she is. the down side of having a nasty cold when it's already hard for you to breathe is that you really don't want to eat. doctors don't like it when babies don't eat, so we almost got to go hang out at the hospital again. but they gave us some medicine and said i could keep her at home as long as she didn't loose weight. (ever try to force feed an infant?? )
after seeing what one stupid little virus can do , and realizing how hard it is for "cardiac babies" to fight them off...well we've basically been under house arrest for the past month. we go to the store (where i look like a freakish germ-a-phobe wiping down the cart even though my kid is in a car seat) , we go to the zoo, and we go on lots of walks. what we CAN'T do is go anywhere that lots of kids or people in general would hang out- ie no bouncing bears, no library, and worst of all no church. (i don't care how clean you think the church nursery is, on some level it's still going to be a petri dish of slobber germs that gideon will bring home and give to the rest of the family)
that brings us to today's appointment, which was supposed to be the final call as to whether or not we get to have surgery next week (there was lots of talk about putting it off because of Chrissy's infection)
we went, she's gained a little weight (12 lbs 5 oz now!!) and her color looked better. which is great but doesn't count as much as what her lungs sound like. basically, our cardiologist gave us the go ahead, but made it very clear that the anesthesiologist will probably freak out when they hear her lungs and there's a slight chance her surgery could still be called off. that would be BAD. for multiple reasons.
which is basically why i'm finally sitting down and blogging again. i need my peeps to be praying this weekend. i'll be asking you to pray for her surgery when we get there, but for now i'm asking you to pray that we can just GET THERE.

pray that chrissy's lungs will clear. (it makes the surgeons happy, and makes recovery much easier)
pray that she eats a lot this weekend, so we can pack on even more weight before the operation.

i know God has His own timeline, and that He is in control. but.... (there's always a but) in my little human mind i just see this as the best time to get the surgery done. (garret's schedule, chrissy's overall health, availability of help, my sanity...lots of factors)

pray my people- PRAY.

i'll update monday when we get the final decision. (if not here then on facebook)

 this is Dr Rogers, our awesome cardiologist. we love her. lily thinks she's a mermaid.

God is so good

well it's been awhile, but i'm pretty sure that i finally have a good excuse for not being up to date. i am now a mother of 3 kids under the age of 3. that's not to say that life is absolutely crazy, but it is a bit harder to find time to sit and blog. first things first- for those of you who don't live on facebook- Christina Rochelle Slaugenhoup was born friday january 13th at 6:21 pm. here's the best part- she was born loud, pink, and did AWESOME! she stayed in the cardiac intensive care unit for 5 days, but she was never on any medication or supplemental oxygen. basically our little girl has defied her diagnosis, and has made all the doctors and nurses smile. (the smile of "wow, we really saw this going down a little differently, but we're happy it's working out")

2 things strike me as funny right now. i'll try and get my point across, but i may ramble a bit. what can i say..i'm out of practice when it comes to getting my thoughts down in a concise manner.
1) i really can't tell you how many times we had to have "the talk" with different doctors, nurses, social workers, or random strangers. the talk i'm referring to it the "yes. we understand the gravity of the situation. we're not in denial, but we also refuse to freak out and be stressed for our entire pregnancy." it's almost like they expected us to come in to every visit with blood shot eyes and break out in hysterical sobs whenever they talked to us. look i'm not saying we weren't a little concerned about what was going to happen, but we decided early on that God was in control and there was pretty much nothing we could do- so why stress about it. that sort of confused some of the medical professionals. especially the ones that don't know why we were able to have that assurance or peace. (i feel like i'm babbling here, so i'm going to hope that i made my point and you get what i'm trying to say) anyways, the thing that makes me laugh is this- prior to delivery, when we had no idea what the outcome might be, the doctors sort of viewed us and our attitude with concern and scepticism. after delivery, when our rock star daughter was busy being a champ at breathing and basically just being a great baby, they viewed our attitude as ok. like now that things were stable it was acceptable for us to have faith that things would turn out ok. the thing is, we had no way of knowing how Chrissy would do, and our faith that God is sovereign and good REGARDLESS OF THE OUTCOME is what helped us be calm and rational. (babbling again, sorry) bottom line- it's nice to have the docs on our side now, and not looking at us like we're crazy uninformed, ignorant schmucks. now they smile and they LIKE that we aren't hysterical.

2) now that Chrissy is here and doing awesome. it has caused me moments of "did we over react? did we make a mistake? did we get people worked up and worried over nothing?" the answer of course is NO! we had no way of knowing that she would do as well as she has, and her little heart is still messed up and in need of multiple surgeries to repair it. we just lucked out that she didn't need those operations right at birth. this way she gets time to get bigger and stronger, and her heart will be bigger when the doctors go in to work on it. bigger is easier to work with in this case. so why does all that make me laugh. the fact that we pray to God asking and expecting him to answer us, and when he does we act so surprised. i truly believe that we did not over react. Chrissy could have had major complications at birth, but i believe with all my heart that the reason she didn't is because God answered our prayers and the prayers of our friends and family. any one who would dare to say we over reacted or accuse of of being drama queens looking for attention - well i can show those folks her echos or her chart notes. (not that i think anyone would say that) i'm just trying to get the point across that while God might not have healed our baby in utero, he is carrying her in his hand everyday. HE not our doctors (all of which are great by the way) is why my daughter is sitting beside me sleeping and swinging, waiting for her next opportunity to eat, and doing it all without trouble breathing or with any tubes hooked up to her.

ok, this might have been a weird "first blog since the baby" but that's the stuff that's been rolling around in my head. rest assured- life is great. life with 3 kids is...well...busy. BUT it's great and i wouldn't change it for the world.
i feel like i should put a picture in here, but i'm on garret's laptop and he doesn't have many pictures. so that will be my goal for next time, or you can just check out our FB page.

real quick details just so folks have the info if they want it :
surgery is put off for a few months, unless chrissy's oxygen levels start dropping. she's currently holding strong in the high 80's so we're good for now.
we have weekly weight and oxygen level checks, and bi-weekly visits to the cardiologist for EKG's and all that stuff.
keep on praying for us.

another update

well there's sort of some stuff to update. not much, but enough that i am sitting here typing. so i guess that's something.

as for baby girl- SHE HAS A NAME!!! Christina Rochelle. (Chrissy  for a while because that's a big name for a little girl) for those of you who are curious where the name came from, it's the girl version of my two brother's names (Christopher and Richard). it's subject to change until it's actually on a birth certificate, but we're pretty sure we're sticking with it.
we've met with the doctors a few times. nothing really different to report there. her heart has not fixed itself, but it hasn't gotten worse either. we're still just waiting to see how her airway looks at delivery, and from there we will be able to figure out what kind of shape she's in and how we progress.
as for progress...we're making some. without going into too much detail (because it's weird to talk about my cervix in a blog) things are starting to happen, and we should have a baby within a week or so. that's a little early but everyone is ok with it. especially me. the funny thing is Gideon's birthday is Jan 18th so, if Chrissy is born before that, we'll have had 2 babies in one year. silly. crazy. whatever adjective you want to insert there.

we did receive some good news this week. a couple weeks ago they thought they might maybe have seen something abnormal in one of her ultrasounds, so we ended up getting an amnio test just to see if there was anything else going on that we should be aware of. (there are some specific chromosomal / medical things that often accompany heart defects and some of those have medical components that the doctors would need to know about if Chrissy got rushed to surgery right after delivery) we just got those results back and they are all normal. huge praise for us! we know that if the test had come back differently we'd deal with it, and that God would still be there to help and give us the grace and strength we need to tackle that. but we're thankful that everything looks good in that area.

so that's where we're at as a family. just sitting around waiting for Chrissy to show up. Garret's bosses are awesome and sent him home early, just in case things start moving quickly. i've never met them but i love his bosses. they have been AMAZING throughout this whole thing.

this entry seems disjointed  and random, and i really don't have a good closing thought. sorry about that.
i'm blaming it on end stage pregnancy brain.
and.....done.

what a year

i know everyone says it this time of year, but i  can't believe how fast 2011 flew by. i'm also amazed at how much life has changed in 12 months. this time last year i was baking cookies for my friends wedding, hanging out with some of my very favorite people, and just waiting for baby #2 to arrive.  (for the record, the cookies were ok, the wedding was beautiful, and i credit the awesome dancing at the reception for gideon's early arrival. fun times indeed. happy anniversary bailey dawn)

fast forward 12 months and we're living on the east coast,planning gideon's first birthday, and waiting for baby #3. i can honestly say that i NEVER would have guessed that this is how life would look at the close of 2011, but i can also say that it's been a great year. a little bit of a crazy year with way too many ups and downs to list out, but a year where i've definitely seen God work and move. i've had friends and family welcome new life into this world, and i've had way too many friends and family members have to say good bye to loved ones.  through it all God has been and continues to be faithful. he didn't promise us an easy road, but he promised to walk it with us.

there's a REALLY old geoff moore song that i like. well, let's be honest there's a lot of old geoff moore songs that i like, but this particular song has a line that goes like this:
"He's gone before us, through every trial we face. we have a Savior, who's lived and died in our place."

not to get all crazy deep  in an otherwise sort of shallow blog, but here me out...
one of the awesome things about Christ is that He didn't just DIE for us. He LIVED life as a human. we have a God who knows what it's like to welcome a baby into the world and  loose a friend to the grave. He experienced human emotion. He KNOWS what we're going through.

there are a lot of verses that tend to float through my mind these days, but Hebrews 4:15 is one of the top.
"This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. "

the more things change...

i realize i've been VERY bad about updating this blog. you'd think with a cross country move and meeting with the doctors at a new hospital that i'd have lots to tell everyone. you'd think that anyway. or you may think that with a cross country move and settling 2 kids into a new house that i'd be way too busy to blog. i wish i could use that excuse. truth is i just haven't had much to update people on. i should claim the busy excuse because it would make me seem less like a bad blogger, but while most of you are in AK there are a few folks here in PA that would know that i was just making up a lame excuse.

excuses aside, there are a few things i can share that may let you know where we're at as a family.
so...obviously we moved. we're all settled in  Bristol, Pennsylvania which is a little town about 1/2 ish outside of Philadelphia. it's a cool old town with lots of history. well, i'm assuming it has lots of history because it's old. i've gone as far as to google books about the area, so i know there ARE books about the history of bristol but i haven't actually read any of them. but trust me, it's an old town. old towns are cool because everything is very "stately" looking. awesome brick houses and just cool buildings all around. the down side of old towns is that the roads were made when everyone rode horses. that means narrow roads with intersections that don't really line up. then there's these weird things called "jug handle turns". that's a whole different issue that i'm not going to get into right now, but for those of you who know me you'll laugh when i say that i no longer have to worry about turning left. you're pretty much NEVER allowed to turn left here. the jug handles make every turn a right turn. cool if you don't like crossing traffic. confusing if you are looking at a store on your left and trying to figure out how to actually get into the parking lot.

we have met with the new doctors a few times. (FYI- CHOP is the name of the hospital in case i use that in the future). they seem like a really good group of people to work with. there's not a ton of new information. (thus the lack of blogging) pretty much we're still just monitoring and waiting until delivery. i'm about to bust into medical talk so if you don't really care you can skip the next paragraph.

obviously baby girl's heart condition hasn't changed. she's still going to need multiple heart surgeries at some point, but the big deal regarding her immediate health is her airway. the heart condition causes her arteries to get bigger than they should be and her airway runs right between those two arteries. so if they get too big it has the potential to "pinch" her airway. there's no real way to know if her airway is compromised until after she's born and having to actually breathe on her own, so we have to just wait and see. we literally could land anywhere on the spectrum of screaming baby with great lungs to baby that gets rushed into surgery to work on her airway right after delivery. so we're hoping for a good fast NOISY delivery.

so if you're looking for specific ways to pray:
* pray for our little girl's airway- that it's not compromised and that she's good and strong at birth
* pray for the doctors and nurses- wisdom and guidance as they work on our baby girl
* pray for lily and gideon- getting a new sibling is always a big deal regardless of medical issues
* pray for garret- his commute to work just got a lot longer. pray he has good flights, and that his time at work is not too crazy.

really we're doing great. yes, it's been a big transition but God has made our path smooth. we should actually know a little more next week. (more echos/tests/ultrasounds) we might even get a better idea ab out when baby girl will make her grand entrance. she's due january 22 but if i had to guess, i'd say she'll probably show up a little before that.

the Isaiah 55:8 learning curve

so i knew i'd be learning a lot through this process. so far i've learned a lot about different heart conditions, ultrasounds, and a ton of other baby related things. i've also learned that i'm not a very consistent blogger, but the thing that's really hitting home lately is what God's been teaching me about ME.

a few weeks ago i was talking about how maybe this part of the journey is all about learning how God meets all our needs, because let me tell you- He's definitely been taking care of all those things. God meeting your needs-bring it on that's a fun lesson, but lately the lesson hasn't been as cool.
i was doing some self evaluating the other day and it turns out i'm a tiny bit of a control freak. i'm not super crazy about it, but i like to have a plan. i'm flexible, but give me a tiny bit of structure. framework. guidelines. boundaries. these are all words that i like. that's part of why we're packing up and moving to the east coast for a year. the doctors couldn't give us any solid ideas of how long we'd need to be gone, so we took it upon ourselves to come up with a time line. in person i'll say it's so we can give the kids some sort of stability, but truth is it's a lot about me. it gives me stability and an idea of how to plan for the next year.(yes, i'm the mom that uses my kids to hide my own insecurities and issues)
so, we made this nice little plan and started moving forward on it. you know that saying "we make plans, and God laughs." that's about where i am right now. i don't think he's laughing in some mean sinister way, but he's definitely giggling while he watches me learn and re-learn that there's very little that i'm actually in control of. we've moved from plan A to plan B, back to plan A, and i think at this point we may be on plan Q; but i've sort of lost track.

when i start to get a tiny bit frustrated i can hear him gently remind me of Isaiah 55:8 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. declares the Lord."

then i hear a little Twila Paris in the background singing "God is in Control" (cause THAT'S how my brain works, everything has a soundtrack and sometimes it's cheese-tastic christian music from the early '90's) gradually i remember that he is, in fact, in control and i just need to submit to his authority and roll with it. He's more qualified anyway. i mean the God that created the universe and holds time in his hands, yeah, i guess He's an ok planning partner. (when i say partner i mean that He gets to make the decisions and then i pretend that i thought of it and that it's a wonderful idea.) 

 

so, if you ask me what our plan is and i tell you something. then the next day you hear someone else talking about our plan and it sounds nothing like what i said...nobody's lying. the plan has just more than likely changed. again. and i'm ok with that.

update - sort of

well i want to keep you up to date on how things are progressing with our baby girl.
had a quick ultrasound the other day, mostly to check for fluid around her heart which is the first sign of heart failure. they didn't see anything so things are great there. we have another Echo next week, and they'll get a better look at all things heart related. but right now things are going as well as can be expected. the baby is moving a lot, and things are falling into place for our move. so for now we stick with the same plan as before, which is basically a lot of monitoring until we make the trek to philly.

God has been very good, and is definitely meeting every need we have. that being said, please keep praying for our family as we start this journey.

specific ways to pray for us:

• healing for our baby girl- whether that happens in utero, or through the help of the doctors after birth. i'm not picky, i just want her healthy and strong.
• that we find housing in philly- we're working on it, but nothing is for sure yet
• that we find good renters for our anchorage house
• that we can stay focused on the fact that God was not caught off guard by this. He is in complete control, and we should rest in that knowledge.
• that we find a good church down there- have a few leads, but won't know for sure until we get there.